.... about the last few weeks ... years .....
I have/had to do with a lot of angry situations. The puppies are really a test for me in many different points but most on anger/aggresion.
ITs not really anger but it feels like little needles within me.
I have to be very aware of it because of not define it as anger or define me as angry.
I seems like a timeloop because I realized that some thoughts & also this kind of feeling which came up are the same thoughts & feelings like last year when I started extensivly with the desteni material.
Also my sleep-rhytm is similar - I went to sleep in the night for 4-6 hours and during the day I went again for 1-2 hours to sleep.
In one of my videos I talked about some situtuion of anger & that I got little pimples on my skin accompanied with itching where I beliefe that I got this from some angry reactions what I had. I had this pimples&itching since I had this skin deseas 4-5 years ago always in the winter time. Now its the same.
writing out what I dislike, what I fear, what makes me angry ....
the world situation, how my parents dealing situation with me, how I deal situations with my parents, people who won´t understand that have to change ourselfs, people who won´t stand for a dignified life for all, my itching skin, uncomfortable situations, people who won´t take self-responsibility, animal abuse, child abuse, when I express fear, when I feel a knot in my solar pexlus, I fear that I can loose my stand,
I forgive myself that I have accepted & allowed myself to feel angry about the world situation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted & allowed myself to feel angry about my parents and how they educated me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted & allowed myself to feel angry about people who won´t change themselves.
I forgive myself that I have accepted & allowed myself to feel angry about people who won´t take self-responsibility & won´t stand up for a life in dignity for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted & allowed myself to feel angry about beings who abuse animals & children.
I forgive myself for judging me when I get angry.
I forgive myself for judging others when they get angry.
I forgive myself that I have allowed & accepted myself to let me direct, manipulate & enslave me from anger.
I forgive myslef that I have accepted & allowed myself to define myself as " I am angry".
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that within the definition of "I am angry" I become the anger.
I forgive myself for accepting & allowing myself to make thoughts over thoughts about how I feel.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to stop all kind of thoughts about how I feel withing this physical body. I just breathe & be the breath.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to let go my past of anger.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to enjoy myself how I express me without any thoughts feelings & emotions.
Till here no further - within the realization that anger isnt real I will never participate in anger or define myself as angry.
Till here no further - I stop all definitions of myself about how I feel & what I feel.
Till here no further - from my awareness here all anger is now removed & all cells from my physical body is purified from.
I forgive myself that I have accepted & allowed myself to feel fear that I can loose my stand what I am when I give up my thpughts feelings & emotions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted & allowed myself to feel fear about uncomfortable situations.
I forgive myself that I have accepted & allowed myself to feel fear of the itching on my skin.
I forgive myself that I have accepted & allowed myself to feel fear that I get the same skin-desease like in my past.
I forgive myself that I have accepted & allowed myself to feel fear when I am alone outside in the dark.
I forgive myself that I havent allowed myself to feel comfortable & enjoying myself when I am alone outside in the dark.
I forgive myself that I have accepted & allowed myself to have agressive pictures within my when I feel fear when I am alone outside in the dark.
I forgive myself for accepting & allowing myself to judge myself when I fear.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to judge others when they fear.
I forgive myself for accepting & allowing myself that I fear when I have a knot within my solar plexus.
I forgive myself for accepting & allowing myself to feel fear because of the puppies life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted & allowed myself to direct, manipulate & enslave myself from fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted & allowed myself to define myself as "I fear" ....
I forgive myself for accepting & allowing myself to enjoying myself every moment by every breathe without any thoughts feelings & emotions.
Till here no furhter - Within the realization that fear do not exist I will never participate in fear.
Till here no further - Within my awareness here all fear is now removed & all cells from my physical body is purified from fear.
I forgive myself for accepting & allowing myself to breathe just in awareness when I feel uncomfortable.
I forgive myself for accepting & allowing myslef to use breathing in awareness just when I think I have to purify myself from some emotions feelings or energetical reactions.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to breathe all-ways here within & as life-awareness.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to breathe aware also when I do some physical work.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see in every moment when I participate within the mind that this isn´t real.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see in every moment that all thinks what comes from the mind like thoughts feelings emotions beLiefes desires dislikes jugdments are deceptive thus an Illusion.
I am not the mind - thoughts feelings emotions but I keep it alive within participating in thoughts feelings & emotions thus I keep alive a illusional reality.
I forgive myself for not standing here as my physical body in life-awareness breath by breath in any situations equal as one & stop myself by participating within the mind as thoughts feelings and emotions.
Thanks for all who supports me in my process of life
Thanks to my puppies.
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